It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
