Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
