now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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