Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
