C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize