Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
