I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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