My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
