dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
