i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
