Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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