i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
