If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
