sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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