i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
