I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
