Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He? As in you personified your dick?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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