This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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