I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
