True but thats because hes a fetus.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
