Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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