there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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