I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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