it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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