Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
