Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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