can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
