Moan for me like Helen Keller
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
