You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
