Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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