Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
