He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
