summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
