your parents love me but you hate me
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Say something about gay babies.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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