Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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