somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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