Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I could make wine with my vomit
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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