it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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