just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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