Porn is love you can see.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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