So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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