I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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