That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
