Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
