explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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