Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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