what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
