i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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