Ambien. No doubt about it.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
