Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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