I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
