If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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