was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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