I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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