ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
