she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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