You're so nebulous sometimes
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
