Apparently you make a good broom.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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