I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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