I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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