We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
