what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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