i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
40s are totally the cure
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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