dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
